Retrieval Project update... it's here!

Read more on the Retrieval Project blog.   We're getting things organized and settled.  Soon I'll take you on a photo tour of our home.  Stay tuned!

shop, swap, blog: Polly Danger

I had two partners for shop, swap, blog.  The second was Polly Danger.  Take a look at what she sent me:

I love, love, love this pouch.  I've already put it to good use.  It's currently holding a pair of sewing scissors, my pins and needles book (I'll have some of these in my shop soon!), some thread, and a few coffee sleeves that need the handstitching done.  I really love this pouch!  The mini wallet is super cute, too.  I'm thinking maybe library cards so that they're all handy and in one spot.

I also received this super cute tin:

Look how adorable these thumbtacks are!  I can't wait to put up a bulletin board and use these!  I love that she used vintage and repurposed fabrics.  What a great way to use up tiny bits leftover from other projects!

And that's not all!  There were also a few of these sweet little birdie patches included!  

More about Polly (in her own words):

shops:  PollyDanger and PollyDangerNotions

blog:  pollydanger

about:  My name is Ixchel P. Lechuga and I run Polly Danger, a sewn goods and notions shop for those who need cute like they need air.  I've been crafting just about as long as I've been called "Polly", so basically since birth.

I live in sunny Southern California in a small cottage with my favorite person, Eric, Grandma, and three ridiculously awesome dogs, who I like to feature on my blog as often as possible.

I started Polly Danger out of a desire to make cute things, but it has evolved into a desire to help others make cute things as well!  I now carry a line of really beautiful handmade bias tapes, sewing notions, kits and patterns and I hope to make these my sole focus in the years to come.

The best thing about owning my own business is the constant flow of creative energy in my life.  When I had a "real" job I had to reserve the truly "Polly" part of myself for weekends and the occasional craft show.  Now I get to spend my days playing with whatever ideas pop into my head!  My husband and I have made lots of sacrifices so that we can both work from home, and that we get to spend our days making things and feeding off of each other's creativity is unbelievably wonderful.

My favorite independently owned online shop is definitely McMaster and Storm.  It's like shopping in granny's attic, minus the dust, multiply the wonderment x 10.  So lovely.

Thanks Polly!  So fun swapping with both you and Jasemin!  I may get addicted to this swapping thing!

xo

shop, swap, blog: Jasemin

I recently participated in shop, swap, blog. The idea was for partners to send each other something from their personal shops and then blog about it. This was a fun project to participate in, and I love the things I received.

The first package that came to me was from Jasemin. She makes lovely jewelry and sells them in her etsy shop. We emailed each other and decided to choose which items we'd like to receive in the swap. She chose my "hello" art print, and I threw in a coffee sleeve for fun. She posted about it here on her blog.

I received this. Sweet packaging, which always makes a good impression of a shop and the effort spent by the seller.

And inside, this lovely necklace.

She uses lace pieces in her jewelry and I think it's adorable. She has lots of other beautiful things in her shop too.

Here is a little more about Jasemin:

· Online Shop Address: jasemin.etsy.com

· Blog Address: myjasemin.blogspot.com

· A bit about yourself: I’m an accountant by day, a part-time MBA student by night, and a jewelry designer/maker on the weekends. I figure that accounting and finance will come in handy when I have my own business someday, but I just can’t wait to be done with school now, so then I can focus more time and energy on my shop.

I love jewelry. Period. Either making it or buying it. Whenever I go shopping, the first place I usually look at is the accessories/jewelry section. I think a piece of jewelry or accessory can totally change an outfit! I don’t have a particular favorite brand; just anything unusual and pretty, I’ll like.

What made you start your business I’ve been making and enjoyed making jewelry as gifts for friends since high school. Regrettably, I stopped awhile when I started my current job and school. And that’s why I want to start my own etsy shop now as a way to keep myself creative. At the end of the week, after the long hours of number-crunching from my job, it’s nice to do something enjoyable.

And I have always wanted to have my own business someday. With friends’ encouragement and the discovery of etsy.com (which makes it easier to have my own shop), I decided that I shouldn’t wait and just launched my etsy shop this summer.

· What you plan to accomplish with your business I don’t have particularly big plans yet for my business; I like to take small steps at a time. So far, I’ve been making most sales to friends and eventually, planning to sell in an upcoming craft fair in the city.

· What you get most out of having your own business people’s comments- either compliments or suggestions on my designs. They’ve been very supportive and encouraging. And I got to meet some awesome, talented and crafty friends along the way.

· Your favorite independently owned online shop

nice package.

Online shop billet in japan

leptitpapillon’s shop

yellowgoat

ruche

four little pumpkins

first little pumpkin.  Brooklyn Joelle.  1998

second little pumpkin.  Ezekiel Cruz.  2000

third little pumpkin.  Mercy.  2006
fourth little pumpkin.  Judah Zion.  2008

missing

I'm missing Minnesota right now.  A lot lately.  But especially right now.  Joe's grandma passed away this week.  Such a sweet sweet lady.  I know she's happy and healthy and in a better place now, and that we will see her again one day.  But we're missing her.  Such a gentle and quiet spirit.  She and Joe's grandpa just celebrated 62 years of marriage.  She leaves such a legacy.

Family will gather in Minnesota this Sunday to remember and celebrate her life.  I love that we had the opportunity to live near enough to visit with all of them for a while.  I wish we could be with them now.  (I'm thankful that Joe can go.  So grateful to his brother for purchasing his ticket to fly.)  Prayers for the family are appreciated.  Grieving our loss while celebrating Heaven's gain.  I love to get lost in my thoughts, imagining what it must be like there.  

(The image above is from my art journal last January.  We were in transition, getting ready to move back to CA from MN.  We were only there for six months, but part of my heart still remains.)

needing a little lift

"change" This is a print of an original mixed media painting for The Retrieval Project (http://retrievalproject.blogspot.com).  Print available in my etsy shop here.

*On the trunk of the summer tree are the words, "it is usually best to embrace it and look for the beauty that it holds." SO true for me in our journey.

Needing a little lift today.  Not as in face lift, although I'd be lying if I said it's never crossed my mind.  No, I'm needing a lift in spirits.  It comes and goes, but these last weeks have been rough.  Today while the kids were watching a movie, I was online reading some blogs, checking in on facebook, catching up with friends and listening to pandora. 

I came across a few things that brought some cheer to my gloomy mood.  Like this post by Kelly Rae Roberts.  And have you heard about The Bright Side Project?  I love love love this!  And this was my friend Angel's status update on Facebook earlier today:  "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." – Habakkuk 2:3 (NLT)

I had breakfast with one of our pastors last week. It was so nice to go out, just the two of us, and have some adult conversation. She was very encouraging.  And she gently reminded me that we are struggling right now. We're not suffering. There is a difference.  To suffer is to be afflicted.  Struggle is a synonym for striving, pressing on.  We are faced with hard times, but we are not afflicted.  And we are striving forward.  Pushing through.  Pressing on.

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:16-18  NIV

celebrating Mercy

Yesterday we spent celebrating our sweet girl's birthday.  Four years ago, Mercy joined our family.  She is such a blessing.  Warm hearted, spunky, full of wonder. 

Originally Joe had only wanted two children, so after our first girl and boy, he said we were done.  I loved our little family but always dreamed of having more.  More than five years after our second baby, Joe shocked me with the surprise of saying we should have two more.  I had surrendered my desires and didn't expect him to ever change his mind, so when he did I had to take a little time to make sure I still wanted to.  We had moved on from the baby stages, didn't need to carry a diaper bag or push a stroller anymore and had given away all of our baby things.  But we were very excited to welcome a new little one into our lives.  

She was tiny and precious.  The first week or so were a challenge, as she lost a lot of weight and wasn't eating well at first.  She's still a petite little thing, but healthy as can be.  She loves to sing and be silly, draw pictures and practice writing.  She has a tender spot for the elderly that warms my heart.  While other kids may shy away, she will talk to them and show them things and give them stickers.  

Here she is just a few minutes old.

Brooklyn was 8 and Zeke was 6 when she was born.  They were so excited to meet their baby sister and help take care of her.  I love this shot of them meeting her for the first time, caught by our sister and doula, Sarah.

A little older here, this is the face I'd see in the mornings when I'd go in to get her out of her crib.

My dad is a retired Navy sailor.  I love this sweet picture of her in the dress he sent.

camping in Yosemite

Joe's mom has taken pictures of all 10 grandchildren in this bucket when they're between 8-10 months old.  She brings it as a carry on on flights from Colorado to wherever the grandbabies are.

Fast forward to the present.  This is Mercy yesterday morning opening cards and gifts before breakfast.

We planned to go to a pumpkin patch for the day, but since it was rainy, plan B was to see the double feature of Toy Story and Toy Story 2.  I stayed home with Judah while Joe took Mercy with her big brother and sister.  Joe took this photo of the kids and their cousins who met them there.

And here's our silly girl gettin' down in the rain on her birthday.

Some good friends of ours had a baby the same day, right down the hall from us at the hospital.  This is Mercy and Alijah at around seven months old.

And here they are now.  We went to their house last night for a birthday dinner celebration.

in my head today

This song has been in the rotation at Starbucks a lot lately.  It always makes me smile, and then I catch myself singing the words for the rest of the day.  It's been in my head all day today, so I thought I'd share it here so you can join me and sing along.  Today I'm dedicating this song to Joe.  Things are a bit uncertain right now (again)... finances, job stability (come on people, get tattooed!)... but I know one thing.  that I love you.  xo

remember the good

Last week I was met with an unkind comment that left me offended and a bit bummed out for a while.  Maybe because the truth hurts.  But for goodness sake, no matter now tired someone looks, they don't need you to tell them so.  It just isn't nice.  For some reason I couldn't shake that remark for the rest of the day.  I realized later, when I really thought about it, that I'd received at least three really nice compliments after the not-so-nice statement.  Why couldn't I focus on those, and let the other one go?   I don't have an answer to that, but I did decide to take some creative action to help combat those negative words.  Positive words can have power too. 

 I had a journal that hadn't been written in yet, and decided to use it to record the nice things that people say to me.  So that night I wrote down the three compliments I remembered from earlier in the day.  The next night I did the same.  I decided the nice things can come from things people say in person, on the phone, facebook comments, blog comments.. really anywhere.  After just a few days of doing this, I have filled some pages in my journal.  So now when I get stuck on some careless remark that someone makes, I can look in my little book and choose to remember the good.

An amazing duo, my sister and brother-in-law, collaborated on this lovely crown as a gift for me last week.  They gave it to me on the night before my birthday.  We were picking up our kids from theater rehearsal, and I had already showered, put on pajamas and was ready for bed.  The card that accompanied the giftwas so so sweet and so thoughtful.  I put on the crown and somehow felt a little bit royal.  I realize that lately I usually have dark circles and/or bags under my eyes, but a kind gesture or compliment can do wonders for lifting a tired countenance.  I took this picture that night when I got home.  Tired, yes.  Maybe even exhausted, and definitely sleepy.  But their kindness added a little spark to these tired eyes.

This reminds me of a Bible verse my sister-in-law and I memorized together years ago and that I try to put into practice daily:

"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."  Proverbs 3:27

adventure playground + giveaway winner

Last weekend our oldest daughter turned 12.  As much as she's growing and changing and entering new stages, she's still a kid who loves to play and get messy.  And I LOVE that.  

I'd heard about Adventure Playground before and thought it sounded fun, but if I'd known it was this incredible, I'd have been taking the kids long before now.  We had other plans for the day, but when they fell through at the last minute, it was decided we'd spend the day here.  I think we were ALL thrilled with the way the day turned out.  SO much fun.  So inspiring.  (You can click on pictures to enlarge for detail.)

This is a place where you don't just play on the playground equipment... you get to help build it!  You can hammer, saw, paint, and let your imagination run wild.  So so great.

Mercy was the princess of this castle.  I so want a castle like that in our back yard!

This was an old row boat.  For a while the little ones had fun playing inside it, then they took to painting the outside.  They use tempera paint, which is washable, so it not only comes out of clothes, but when it rains, I imagine the "canvases" of the playground are wiped clear, for new masterpieces to be created.

I was so inspired as I looked around and noticed all the beauty.  And as I watched our kids, strangers' kids, lots and lots of kids.. building, creating, taking pride in their work and so excited and empowered because they weren't given limits.  They were able to imagine and transform the space to their hearts content.  Now I'm on a mission to gather materials and allow some free creating to happen in our back yard.  The kids had already started on a tree house, complete with rope ladder.  

Now we're inspired to create a whole new play space.

On to the winner of a print from my shop:  

Brooklyn helped me.  All names went into a bowl, and very carefully...

she chose a winner...
and the winner is:  

Jamie PA said...

I am inspired to make the most out of this day as I hear about a young friend of mine agonizing with the return of his aggressive cancer.

Jaime, send me an email letting me know which print you'd like, along with your address and I'll get them off to you asap!

40 by 40

I've been inspired by lists lately.  I guess because I've always been a list maker.  It helps me be organized and I take great pleasure in crossing things off.  No measly check marks here.  Big messy crossing off feels so much more accomplished!  A few months ago a friend on facebook posted a list of 28 things she wanted to do the year she turned 28 (or some number close to 28, but you get the picture).  I really liked that idea and decided to come up with a list of 40 things I'd like to do by the time I'm 40.  (I have exactly three years.)

I've seen a few Mondo Beyondo lists lately, and they are so inspiring.  I'm excited to take the course asap and create my own list.  But for now, I've decided to make a list of some short term goals.  In no particular order, there are some family related, some fun related, some business, some art/craft, and some for the soul.  I thought I'd post it here, and I'll come back to this post now and then to update my progress.  

1.  consistently make (x) amount of $ per month from my art and handmade goods.  (contributing to the family income enough to work only from home.)

2.  sell my wares in local shops

3.  go to Squam

4.  have a website with pages/links to a portfolio, my blog, online shop, etc

5.  come up with a good name for my shop + blog (using jenny swanson on everything is not my favorite.  I want something creative and clever that represents me but doesn't limit what I have to offer, since it's ever changing)

6.  have developed my style/brand so that my work is cohesive and recognizable

7.  go on a luxurious vacation with Joe

8.  go on a sister trip

9.  go hang gliding at Fort Funston

10.  have a booth at a craft fair

11.  be published in a magazine

12.  do Beth Moore's "Daniel" Bible study + do the Daniel fast for the duration of the study

13.  create a mini backyard Adventure Playground (more on this soon... that place was so cool)

14.  complete (ok, and start) Judah's first year album

15.  make bread from scratch at least monthly (would like to do this weekly, but I'll build up to that)

16.  make and use my own laundry detergent

17.  create and maintain a vegetable garden (family project)

18.  make and wear my own clothing

19.  make and stick to a weekly or monthly menu plan

20.  participate in Illustration Friday weekly

21.  family vacation to the Grand Canyon

22.  complete the Couch to 5k plan

23.  run regularly (at least 3x per week)

24.  have ($x) in savings

25.  take a ride in a hot air balloon

26.  try at least one new recipe every month

27.  participate in the Toy Society

28.  tip 100% to a server who's having a hard day and doesn't necessarily desserve it based on the service provided

29.  try a new craft or art project once a month with the kids

30.  go to a new park every month with the kids (completed 1/36)

31.  go on monthly dates with Joe

32.  sleep in the back yard with the family

33.  make a doll for Mercy

34.  do collaborative paintings with Brooklyn 

35.  host a Stone Soup party

36.  learn to make lumpia

37.  learn to embroider

38.  teach an online class

39.  complete The Artists Way

40.  visit my dad in Florida

100th post! giveaway

This is my 100th blog post!  I started blogging about a year and a half ago, and have gone through seasons of posting a lot, posting a little, posting about family, posting about art, posting about things that inspire, and some randomness here and there.  For anyone of you who has followed from the beginning, are just coming for the first time, and all those in between... welcome and thanks for coming!  I'm happy you've stopped by and would love for you to stick around.  I have come to love the blogging community and have made some really nice friends here in blog land.  So thanks for visiting, and please know that I genuinely love to hear from you via comments and emails, so keep them coming!  =)

In honor of my 100th post, I've decided to host a giveaway!  One commenter will win a print of their choice from my etsy shop!  There are lots of new prints, since I've listed all of the prints from originals sold for the Retrieval Project.  Above are some of my favorites from the project.

To enter, just leave a comment stating what is inspiring you today.  Today I was inspired by lunch conversation with Mati Rose and Stefanie at Cafe Gratitude in SF.  Winner will be announced on Friday, October 2nd.  (Can you believe it's almost October?!!)

celebrating 12 years of Brooklyn

On September 26, 1997, our lives were changed forever.  At around 11:23am (Minnesota time), Brooklyn Joelle was born.  She has taught me a lot over these last 12 years.  She was our first baby, so she forged the way for the rest.  I remember when I was pregnant, wondering what labor would be like, a little scared, a lot excited.  When you're expecting a baby, you hear a lot of birth stories, both good and bad, from anyone you're willing to listen to.  I thought so much about labor and delivery that I thought, if I could just get through that, I'd have this sweet baby to bring home and life would be good.

Well labor and deliver happened to be a piece of cake for me.  Really, really wonderful experience all four times.  What I should have put more thought time into was being a mom of a newborn.  I got this sweet little 6lb, 11oz baby home and didn't know what to do with her.  It was such a hard time for me.  I was so disappointed in myself because all my life I'd dreamed of being a mom.  I played with dolls from the time I was itty bitty until a few years after I probably should have, and then I started babysitting.  I always loved being around babies and couldn't wait to have my own.  

We had moved from California to Minnesota (for the first time) when I was about six months pregnant.  Both of my sisters back in CA were also pregnant at the time.  Joe was in school and I was trying to do a home based business while caring for this new baby.  The business never went anywhere because I just couldn't make it all work.  I was a fumbling mess with Brooklyn, especially the first week.  Everything I thought would come naturally took so much work.  I loved her with all my heart, but I was an emotional wreck.  I wanted my sisters and I had a really hard time nursing.  Brooklyn and I  both cried every time I tried to feed her.  Finally, after about a week, Joe and I decided to switch to formula.  Another really hard thing to do.  I felt like such a failure and like I wasn't a good mom.

Over time, we've figured things out.  Each new stage we come to, we pray a lot and do our best.  She's turning into a remarkable young lady.  She's someone I admire.  I still learn a lot from her, not just by learning how to nurture her, but by watching her.  She has a great zeal for life, is very imaginative and inventive, and has such great courage.  She's a natural leader (a true first born) and has an iron-strong will (which of course has its pluses and minuses).  In a few weeks, she and I will get away for a weekend together.  I can hardly wait for some quality girl time with her.

This is her birthday sign, made by her daddy (he calls her B-Town).  He's so amazing at things like this.. I'd love to have half the natural talent he does.  (If you click on the picture you can see full size.)

Her gift... she's been asking for one for a long, long time.  Until recently, she was always with me, so I told her she didn't need one.  Now this girl has a schedule that makes my head spin.  So many times the last couple of months I've wished I could call her to tell her the babies are sleeping and tell her where to meet me when I'm picking her up, or to let her know I'm stuck in traffic (one of these weeks I'll learn to give myself at least 10 extra minutes on Friday afternoons).  So it was time.  She was sososo excited.  She spent a lot of the day texting, mostly her cousin Josh.  So fun that they can do this now.  I found myself quoting Annie Camden from 7th Heaven (loved that show).... "it's a privilege, not a right."  We had the whole responsibility and rules talk.  Good thing she has unlimited texting... I wonder how many times yesterday I heard her ringtone!

We had a wonderful impromptu play day with friends.  We had plans to do something different, but that fell through this week and we ended up at Adventure Playground in Berkeley.  SO much fun.  In fact, that deserves its own post... SUCH a great place.  I can't believe I hadn't been there before.  I was so inspired.  More on that soon.

Tomorrow I'll be posting my 100th post!  Come back for a celebration giveaway!

calling all crock pot recipes!

It's that time of year!  Soon the cooler Fall weather will be upon us, and with busier schedules that come with back to school season, my crock pot is my friend.  I thought I'd share a favorite crock pot recipe with you, and ask that you share some of yours too.  

I know I'll be visiting A Year of Slow Cooking often.  Have you heard about this blog?  Stephanie used her crock pot every day for an entire year, and shared her secrets and recipes on her blog.  Some very creative recipes there!  Our kids and their cousins loved the crock pot french toast recipe.  You prepare it before bed and let it cook overnight... what a heavenly smell to wake up to!  The brown sugar chicken reicpe was also a big hit at our house.  There are lots more to try, and now you can even buy the book (pre-orders now for early October release).  

The recipe I'll share here is one of my favorites.  I got the recipe from my sister Kelly, who got it from a friend.  It's one of those recipes that's copied and shared, and then copied and shared some more.  It's that good.  Please share your one of your tried and true favorites.  Or if you have a great website for recipes to share with the rest of us, that would be great too.  You can't have too many amazing crock pot recipes.  They make life so much easier, and I love the simmering smell in the house all day!

Tortilla Soup

ingredients:

1 pkg. dry ranch dressing mix

1pgk. taco seasoing

2 chicken breasts, cooked and chopped

1 can white hominy

1 can northern (white) beans

1 can pinto beans

1 can diced green chiles

1 can diced tomatoes

1 bag frozen corn

 chicken broth- enough to cover contents

directions:

Place all of the ingredients into a large crock pot, making sure there is enough chicken broth to cook it in.  Simmer for about 4 hours.  (You can also do this on the stove and simmer for 30-40 minutes.)

When you're ready to serve the soup, you can garnish it with grated cheese, sour cream, tortilla chips, avacado, lime juice, cabbage, or cilantro.

Enjoy!

rollercoaster/elevator/tilt-a-whirl

I'm not sure what kind of ride I'm on right now, but it feels like a mixture of those three.  Highs and lows, ups and downs, free falls and slow climbs, spinning, spinning.  This last week has been a doozy.  

Our sweet Zekey boy turned 10 last Saturday.  It seems like he was just the little one on my hip, and now he's hit the double digits.  I'm so pleased with the young man he's turning out to be.  Crazy, fun, loving, sweet, thoughtful, considerate.  I love that kid.  

And Brooklyn started school this week.  I could write a whole page about all the emotions that brings up.  We've been homeschooling the last few years, so this is big for us.  And she's in middle school now.  (!!!!!)  The school she's going to is a perfect transition from homeschooling.  It's a Waldorf-methods school, and is much like what we were doing at home.  Or really I should say it's much like what we were striving to do at home.  She's loving it.  She went on a hike for her first day, and is very excited about all of the activities that are incorporated into daily learning.  Zeke now hopes he can go too.  So far, the fourth grade class is full, but he's on a waiting list so we're hoping that he'll get in at some point.

For now, though, that means I'm homeschooling him.  After work.  Which I get up at 3am for.  I'm really hoping he gets into the school because I'm afraid I just won't have the energy to put into making his learning fun and meaningful.  

But at the same time, I'm really sad to think that our homeschooling journey may be over.  Of course they learn at home still, through our activities and just through life.  But I'll miss some of those teachable moments throughout the day with them.  And I'll miss the freedom of being able to take spontaneous trips and outings.  

Work is fun, but I suck at doing drive-thru and would be happy to never work that part again.  I like taking orders, interacting with people who come in.  Learning their names and their drinks.  I was a bit frazzled this morning trying to keep up with taking someone's order (which is so much harder in drive thru, navigating through different screens, pushing all the buttons to modify drink orders), while ringing someone else up and making some of the drinks.  Please be kind to your drive thru baristas.  Much multi tasking is required, and your patience is so appreciated!

I'm thankful for the Retrieval Project.  It's keeping me painting, which I might not afford myself the opportunity of doing if it weren't for the deadlines we've given ourselves through the project.  I would so love to be doing art full time and making decent money at it.  I would also love the time to do more sewing and creating patterns.  And while I'm talking about hopes and wishes, I'd also love to have more energy to cook nice healthy meals for my family.  Lately it's pasta, quick burritos, cereal, whatever.  I love to cook but just don't have the energy lately.

This is a season.  And thankfully seasons change.  We'll get through this time, and I'm finding moments to savor in the midst of it... but I'm ready for it all to slow down anytime.

merging for simplicity

I have decided to merge this blog with my original one, glimpses and ponderings.  I just imported all of the posts from that blog here.  

When I started this one, it was to have a separate space to record my journey of discovering/ releasing my creative side.  But lately I've been feeling overwhelmed, and this seems a good place to start simplifying.  

The real deal is this:  I'm a wife, I'm a mom, I'm (becoming) an artist, I'm a crafter and sewer, a sister, friend, etc.  It's all part of who I am, so it's hard to separate the art stuff from the other stuff.  It's all intertwined and a jumbled mix of me.  When I read other bloggers' posts, I look forward to some art/creative inspiration, but also getting to know them and their families, their interests and activities alongside their craft.

So, from here on out, you'll be seeing my art journey progress, you'll see what other crafts and sewing I'm up to (something to show you soon!)... and you'll see my kids and hear my heart.  I hope you'll stick around and leave comments so I can get to know you, too!

a good cry

college friends + kids gathered to celebrate the release of Shane Couch's "Miracle" cd

It's been a strange week.  Lots of ups and downs here.  I've felt a good cry coming on for a while now, and some of it happened yesterday.  Not sure if there's more to come or not, but yesterday was a good day.  We drove to Cupertino to go to a church (that we used to go to before and right after we got married).  A friend of ours from college was celebrating the release of his first cd and we wanted to go to support him (Shane Couch's "Miracle" album), and it was a good chance to get together with other old friends that we don't see very often.  

Justin Fox was a special guest (he produced the album and also went to college with us).  He played/ sang some music, but he also spoke, and what he spoke cut straight to the heart of what I've been feeling/ going through, without even really being able to process it all out yet.  I've been to things where it seemed like the message was spoken straight to me, but knowing that it also spoke personally to many others there.... but this time it was like he had read my blog and my thoughts and knew the struggles I was having (which he hadn't).  I was in a little room in the back of the church with Judah, since he was a little too noisy to keep in my seat with me.  As Justin spoke, I just listened and cried.  

He talked about how our art (whether it's music, paintings, etc) are such a personal part of who we are and it's hard sometimes to put it out there for public viewing, but that when it's an original from the heart, God says it's awesome... kind of like a parent with artwork that our kids create for us.  We love it and accept it and are proud of it because it's created with love from them.  We don't have to feel ashamed that it's messy or made with squiggly lines.  We just need to create from our hearts and offer it.  There was more, and it was so right where I was... but that's kind of the gist of it.  And I really needed that.

This is so new for me.  I've never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve, and putting art out there feels so personal.  When we first thought of and began The Retrieval Project, I was excited and thought it was a great idea and that it really could work.  But then I started to have doubts, and didn't want my artwork next to Joe's.  And then I kind of got over it and did it anyway.  The first few days of the project being launched, it seemed like it was a great success.  We had sold 5 out of 6 paintings.  But then it turned into 5 out of 8, and then 6 out of 12.  I felt like it was failing.  Like I expected each day to sell out, and have people on pins and needles waiting for the next day's release so they could jump at the chance to purchase before they were gone.  I know, super unrealistic.  And when that wasn't happening, I felt like the project was failing.  Like I was failing.  

Again, this is all very new for me.  I need to give it time.  And chances are, not all of our paintings will sell by the end of this.  And that's ok.  I decided to think of it like a buffet table.  When there are just a few dishes on the table, people are hesitant to fill their plates.  They want to wait and see what their options are.  Once the table starts to fill up, they will start making their selections.  Some things will appeal to them and other dishes will not.  It doesn't mean the chef is a terrible cook... it just isn't what that person wants.  The next person to come along with a plate will select different options.  It's just the way it is.  And if at the end, there is some food left over, the chef shouldn't take it personally.  

I'm still figuring out just what my painting style is, and experimenting with different things.  Some days I'm having fun with it, and other days just feel messy and off.  I'm learning that it's all part of the process.  And really I need to get out of the way and just let the art out, whatever it is.  I feel like messy is part of the style that's developing here.  And I like messy.  It feels more free.  When I cook and sew I'm messy.  Not necessarily in making messes, but in not following directions precisely.  I like to have a little room to make things more personal, to put my own flavor on it.  Imperfections can be beautiful and I'm usually drawn to them.

Anyway, these are the ramblings that I've been feeling lately.  Yesterday was a good day.  A little release of emotion in the morning, and celebrating with friends.  Then we got together with my mom, and then my sister and her family.  It was a long, full day.  And it was good.

retrieval project starts tomorrow!

The Retrieval Project will officially launch tomorrow!

I'm getting excited about this project.  When I first thought of it and then Joe and I talked details, it was fun and exciting... but then the painting part started.  I finished the first painting and liked it, but the task of doing the rest seemed daunting in the moment/mood/state of mind I was in.  Then on Monday I went to Mati's.  Can I just say I feel so so lucky to be interning/hanging out with her?!  She's the best.

I brought my stuff and we were in her studio painting.  Well she was cleaning/organizing and I sat down to paint.  I kept wanting to get up and help her.  I was feeling blocked and uncomfortable with the task before me.  But I started.  She went in the house to make a phone call and I kept painting, but was having a hard time.  I didn't like what was coming out and then the negative thoughts started coming.  "What do I think I'm doing with a project like this?"  "This looks like something one of our kids could do."  (and they're amazing little artists in their own rights, but what I was painting looked so childish to me at the time.)  "Why on earth would I ever want my artwork next to Joe's?" and so on and so on.  I was very overwhelmed and feeling under-qualified for the project.

Then Mati came back.  She could tell I was struggling and suggested I put aside the painting I was working on.  She wanted me to experiment with mixing colors and getting messy.  (I love her!)  We got out several more pieces of the canvas paper I'm using and went to town with some backgrounds.  That's more how I do it at home too... working on at least a few at a time, and making messy, non-thought-out backgrounds.  But her words were so encouraging.  She could relate to the gremlins I was facing.  Her husband Hugh is also an amazing artist, with a style totally different than hers.  Like Joe, his work is usually tight and crisp and clean.  Like me, hers is more free and sort of whimsical.  She let me borrow a book which I've heard great things about.  

I sort of cringed inside when Hugh came into the studio and Mati showed him the piece I'd been working on (and struggling with).  She told him about the Retrieval Project and he was very nice and supportive also.

We broke for lunch and walked to a cafe just a few blocks away, where we met a couple of Mati's friends (roommates, both named Debbie).  After lunch, they walked back to Mati's studio with us.  Oh no!  Another artist looking at my work!  (One of the Debbies went to art school with Mati.)  But they were both encouraging also and Debbie the artist really liked the painting I had done.  

I left that day feeling so inspired and ready to keep going with my paintings.  Real artists actually liked my work!  But more than that, they helped chase those gremlin thoughts away and gave me the belief that I can do this.

The painting I worked on that day... it is now finished.  Well I think it is.  I thought it was yesterday too, but thought of something to add.  (You'll see that one available here on day 5, August 5th).  When Joe came home last night and we showed each other what we'd been working on, he said, "that's rad.  I love that.  Now my paintings suck."  (He was aware of my feelings of inadequacy all week, and my being intimidated by having my artwork next to his.)  

I'm so glad we're doing this project.  For the obvious hope that it accomplishes the goal of raising the funds we need to get our stuff out of storage, but also because I'm growing as an artist, having fun and growing closer with Joe, and feeling the love and support from a community of artists and bloggers as well as family and friends.

i heart my new necklace

This is me being a dork, taking photos with photobooth on my mac.  I wish you could see the artwork better.  This necklace is awesome.  Mati is too.  And so is Kristen, by the way.  (Mati is the creator of the artwork, Kristen is the maker of the necklace.)  I love collaborations.  I love my new necklace.

can't let 'em get the best of me

Starbucks, that is.  A few weeks ago I posted here that for the first time in about 12 years, I was about to go to work outside the home.  I recently became a Starbucks barista... and I have to admit, the job is pretty fun while I'm there, but it is kickin' my booty big time.  I work the opening shift most days starting at 4am... which means I wake up at 3am.  Holy moly... I'm not as young as I used to be!  And I'm feelin' it.  I don't have a problem getting up at that hour... or being genuinely cheerful before the crack of dawn.  But what is hard is that in the afternoons, when I'm home with my kids, I'm super tired and probably not a whole lot of fun.  I'm realizing I have to be careful not to let Starbucks get the best of me.  As in the best part of me... the happy, nice, patient me.  Somehow I've got to figure out some balance so there's plenty left for my family.  Take now for instance... I'd love to be painting, but I really should be sleeping.  I'm sitting in bed as I type, but felt like getting this out before drifting off tonight.  I need to come up with some sort of schedule that works.  There are so many things pining for my time and I have to come up with a system to make things like laundry, cleaning, cooking, playing, painting and resting not seem so overwhelming.  I do hope that this working thing is just for a season.  I really want to work from home, doing art, where I call the shots and wake up and go to sleep and have days off when I want.  But for now this is my lot and I need some balance to make it all work.  I have a husband and four amazing kids who are growing and changing, and I don't want to miss it.  I want to find a way to tend to my responsibilities while savoring precious time with my loved ones.  Right now it's a huge adjustment.  But I have hope that balance is just around the corner.

renegade sf

What a beautiful day in the Bay Area today!  We headed over to San Francisco for the Renegade Craft Fair and I'm SO glad we did!  I had hoped to have someone watch the kids so I could go alone, or with just Brooklyn, and hang out with Mati for a while, helping and chatting it up at her booth.... but since that didn't work out, I just brought them along.  And it went better than I had hoped.  I told them all on the way not to ask when we were leaving, and not to ask if we could buy anything.  I assured them that I would be the one most disappointed that we weren't buying anything.  We talked about just going for fun, for them to meet Mati, and for all of us to look around.  Brooklyn is as addicted to window shopping on Etsy as I am.  I told them it would probably be like a huge Etsy marketplace in person.  Turns out, that's exactly what it was like.  So much fun.  And on our drive over there, the kids and I decided to make our experience into a treasure hunt of sorts.  We were all going to pick one item that we would want most of all if we could choose something.  And we were all going to look for something that we thought was most clever.  We ended up having a great time, maneuvering our double stroller through the crowds and all.

Mati had a prime location near the entrance, and her booth was our first stop.  Here she is with her other new intern, Caitlyn.  Super cute set up, right?
I love all of her artwork so much and am really really swooning over these new necklaces.   
 I had a hard time picking a favorite today.
I will definitely be swooping one of these up asap! 
Once back outside, we saw this guy riding around.  How awesome is that?  I think I want him to follow me around playing little melodies.  Or not, because that would be kind of creepy.  But I so love piano, and thought this was brilliant.
Remember I said it was a beautiful day in the Bay Area?  Just look at this.  This was taken on our walk back to the car.  It was a bit of a walk, but we loved it.  Gentle breeze, sloshing waves, sunny sky, silly kids.  
I was very proud of the kids for their great attitudes.  They were fun to have along.  We didn't get to do any shopping today, but we collected cards and oohed and awed.  
Oh yes, and our picks for what we'd buy if we could have:

Brooklyn chose the Monster Fuzzie by Fuzzy Ink.  (Which we're really hoping to win in a giveaway they were doing.)

Zeke liked a poster of a skull with eggs for eyes and pieces of bacon for the crossbones.  We can't find it online so far, but it was in the booth across from Mati's.

I heart Mati's necklaces.  And I loved a dress from Rebe, although I can't find the one I really wanted online.  I think I heard them say they're one of a kind, which I think is pretty cool.  Once they make a dress in a particular combination of fabrics, that's it.

And we thought that these journals were very clever.  Oh the thinks people think!

Lots and lots of other great artists/crafters.  You can see the full list here.

You can still go see all this crafty goodness for yourself.  They'll be there again tomorrow from 11am-7pm.  You won't regret it.

collaboration coming soon

I posted this last week on my other blog:

Status update a few nights ago on Facebook and Twitter:  brainstorming, plotting, devising, conspiring, planning, collaborating.... need to be sleeping. stay tuned.

We've been back in the Bay Area for five plus months now.... but our stuff (aka most of our home furnishings and belongings) is still in Minnesota.  We are feeling SO ready to go get it and have it here.  We're still catching up financially from the two huge moves in six months and are no where near being able to afford the trip + uhaul necessary.  So as I was drifting off to sleep the other night, my mind was whirling.  Trying to figure out a way.  We're thinking the trip total will be pretty close to $4,000.  Crazy, I know! 

Whenever you're in a situation that seems impossible, you have to look around and take stock of what's available.  Like in the Bible, when Moses was afraid to confront Pharoah to let the Israelites go out of Egypt, God asked him, "What's that in your hand?".  And He used the staff Moses carried to perform miracles and accomplish His will.

We have art in our hands.  So here's what I came up with.  If we do 100 paintings between us, and sell them for $40 each, we'd could make what we need.  So we're percolating ideas and brainstorming and coming up with a list of titles for paintings.  We'll each do our own take on each title, and everyday we'll release two paintings (one of each) until we've done all 100.  We'll be starting a new blog and an etsy shop for the collaboration.

The theme will revolve around the move, transition, Minnesota, California, new beginnings, roots, family, etc.

I'd love feedback and/ or suggestions for this undertaking.  We need to come up with a name for the project, and we could use some title suggestions for the paintings.  And of course, if you'd spread the word about this, with links to our blog and shop when they're up, that would be MUCH appreciated!

**Update:  We have a name!  We're calling this the Retrieval Project.  And we have our list of titles.  We're busy with our ideas and our paintings, and are planning to launch the project on August 1st.  New blog will be up soon also.  Please stay tuned!

little pink houses

On Friday night, I took Brooklyn out for a fun night on the town.  We rode on BART to San Francisco.  The Mission district has lots of yummy spots to eat.  For this occasion, we opted for berry pie at Mission Pie.  SO good!  

Next, we headed over to the Curiosity Shoppe for the Little Pink Houses collaboration art show with Mati Rose McDonough and Lisa Congdon.  They are both such great artists, and it was fun to see the show after having met Lisa on one of my first days with Mati, and hearing about/ seeing the project along the way.


I also got to meet Kelly Rae Roberts, author of Taking Flight, and who I have to thank for the round-about (through her book and links from her blog) introduction to Mati.  We met a couple of other new friends too, who I recognized from the blog/art world.
They even had the cutest little pink cupcakes.  I thought that was such a sweet touch.
Lisa's dog Wilfredo really wanted a bite of Brooklyn's cupcake.  (Isn't his pink tie adorable?!)
Here's my cute little date on the BART ride home.  We had such a blast together.
More press and photos about the show here:

Lisa Congdon's blog, Mati's blog, an interview of Mati on artists who blog, and a celebration of friendship on Kelly Rae Robert's blog.

And both Mati and Lisa will have booths at the Renegade Craft Fair in SF this weekend.

collaboration coming soon

Status update a few nights ago on Facebook and Twitter:  brainstorming, plotting, devising, conspiring, planning, collaborating.... need to be sleeping. stay tuned.

We've been back in the Bay Area for five plus months now.... but our stuff (aka most of our home furnishings and belongings) is still in Minnesota.  We are feeling SO ready to go get it and have it here.  We're still catching up financially from the two huge moves in six months and are no where near being able to afford the trip + uhaul necessary.  So as I was drifting off to sleep the other night, my mind was whirling.  Trying to figure out a way.  We're thinking the trip total will be pretty close to $4,000.  Crazy, I know! 

Whenever you're in a situation that seems impossible, you have to look around and take stock of what's available.  Like in the Bible, when Moses was afraid to confront Pharoah to let the Israelites go out of Egypt, God asked him, "What's that in your hand?".  And He used the staff Moses carried to perform miracles and accomplish His will.

We have art in our hands.  So here's what I came up with.  If we do 100 paintings between us, and sell them for $40 each, we'd could make what we need.  So we're percolating ideas and brainstorming and coming up with a list of titles for paintings.  We'll each do our own take on each title, and everyday we'll release two paintings (one of each) until we've done all 100.  We'll be starting a new blog and an etsy shop for the collaboration.

The theme will revolve around the move, transition, Minnesota, California, new beginnings, roots, family, etc.

I'd love feedback and/ or suggestions for this undertaking.  We need to come up with a name for the project, and we could use some title suggestions for the paintings.  And of course, if you'd spread the word about this, with links to our blog and shop when they're up, that would be MUCH appreciated!

treasure

About a month ago, a package full of treasure came to my door step.  I am a big lover of old hymns, and have fond memories of singing these songs in the lovely old chapel that our family went to when I was younger.  There were some old favorites, and if I could get my hands on the exact hymnals we used, I'd be so so excited.  There was a red one and a blue one, and I remember the favorites, like "#508 in the red"  (I think that was "It is Well".  My younger sister and I would always giggle and sing "It isSwell"... That song is still a favorite of mine.)

I thought it would be fun to incorporate some old hymnal music sheets into some collage artwork, so I went looking on ebay.  I was elated when I won this set (for 9.99, I do believe).  A good friend also gave me one that she had after I told her I wanted these.  

I think I'll keep one or two just for decoration.  But I'm also using them, and loving going through the pages, reading the titles and humming tunes to the ones I remember.

You may have seen this collage painting that I did, using some of these pages.  A couple of weeks ago, I was looking for a place to store the coffee sleeves I had finished, and found this Jiffy peanut butter box from Costco to be a great size, but not very attractive.  So I took it out to my "studio" and got to work...

A little mod podge, and some pages from the hymn books, and I now have this:
A perfect fit!